Life Groups

Philo-xenia or Xeno-phobia?  How Hospitable is Your Life Group?

(Philip Rose, Pastor of Fusion and Discipleship)

The New Testament writers often remind the church of our responsibility to show hospitality (Rom. 12:13, Heb. 13:2, 1 Pet. 4:9, 3 John 1:8).  The Greek word we translate as "hospitality" in all these passages is philoxenia.  Philos is one of three Greek words for love.  Unlike the lofty agape, which is an unconditional, Godly love; or the earthy eros, which describes a self-serving kind of desire; philos is best translated as a strong affinity or fondness for something.  You might know some common words that derive from that word: phila-delphia (brotherly love), philo-dendron (lover of trees), philo-sophy (lover of wisdom), phil-anthropy (lover of humanity).  Even my name, Philip, is an example (Phil-hupos - lover of horses).  The New Testament word translated "hospitality," philo-xenia, literally means "lover of strangers." 

We don't usually think of hospitality as a love for strangers.  More often we think of hospitality as something we offer to our friends, or maybe even to our in-laws over the holidays!  If we're honest, we might actually need to employ a different related word to describe our relationship to strangers: xeno-phobia, which literally means "fear of strangers."  While we may be afraid or reluctant to extend our graciousness and acceptance beyond who and what is familiar to us, the Bible is clear about God's intentions for His people: we are to receive the alien and the newcomer with open arms and open hearts.

Henri Nouwen's book "Reaching Out" [ http://www.amazon.com/Reaching-Out-Three-Movements-Spiritual/dp/0385236824 ] offers a fine description of this Biblical concept of hospitality. Nouwen reminds us that "hospitality" in the Bible reflects the conditions in the biblical world where motels and hotels were not available. In the Bible, God's people are taught to welcome the stranger, the alien, the widow, and the orphan into our midst, because God's people were once themselves strangers in a foreign land (Lev. 19:34).  Nouwen offers a "top ten list" for exercising this biblical hospitality:

1. Creating "free and friendly space" (physical, emotional, spiritual) for newcomers to join us
2. Viewing strangers as guests - everyone is seen as a potential friend and ally
3. Offering guests safety and protection
4. Giving "gifts" to the guest as a sign of gracious acceptance
5. Receiving "gifts" from the guest as a sign of a humble gratitude
6. Displaying a "poverty of heart and mind" (in order for us as hosts to receive the "gifts" that our guests bring, we admit that we don't know it all, and are receptive to learn from newcomers)
7. Believing that all guests are important and gifted
8. Showing acceptance, not hostility - avoiding subtle hostilities such as putting newcomers into embarrassing or uncomfortable situations
9. Showing compassion, not judgment - realizing that we are more alike than we are different
10. Treating each other with honesty - willing to confront by speaking the truth in love

The church should be a place of hospitality, and our Life Groups at Harderwyk are one place where strangers should have a seat at the table.  If we are going to obey Jesus' command to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:30) we can start by simply opening our door and inviting them in.  In this way, strangers become guests, guests become friends, and friends become family.  If you're part of a Life Group at Harderwyk, consider extending the scope of your hospitality.  If you're not in a Life Group yet, consider joining one.  Groups are currently forming. Give me a call (399-9190, x104) to discuss the possibilities. 

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